Surprise, surprise, I haven’t blogged
in a while. But I’ve been doing some writing when I get deep in thought and I
came up with something I thought was worth sharing and would serve as my
re-introduction to the blogging world.
Just to catch you up on my life, I’m
now a full-time freshman business major, vocal performance minor,
student-athlete, friend, daughter, and sister. No surprise there, I’m
overloading my plate. Again.
Anyways,
life’s always been a struggle for me. Obviously, considering I’m still young
and everything’s gonna be complicated. But I finally figured myself out halfway
through my senior year, cleaned out my life, and started to live the way I
needed to live: for me. I figured out who I was, who I am, and who I want to
be. No longer a people-pleaser, I began to turn away from everyone and
everything that held me back, and entering my first year of college, I planned
to keep it that way. You see, I’ve always known that I was not meant to live
for other people; but I never knew what that looked like. So here I am,
reliving my last few months of high school which I spent holding on to every
last ounce of willpower I had to keep myself from shutting down and giving up.
You see, I've learned that hasty decisions tend to lead to unhappiness. That’s how I
ended up back on this roller coaster. I've also learned that there’s a
difference between loving Jesus and pushing Jesus. I love Jesus, but I’m not
going to push him on anyone. I believe that He has a plan for my life and that
with every breath I’m living out another piece of that plan. But sharing my
story isn’t my way of telling you how God works in my life. That story will
tell itself. This story is one of how a shattered but strong human being gets
through the day-to-day. It’s one to remind you that we have the power to fix
our trouble and put the pieces together. I strongly believe that we never stop
growing. Just when we think that everything is falling into place, the hammer’s
going to come down again; we just have to be ready to put our big kid pants on
and pull out the Gorilla Glue. So here I am, tough-as-nails, but fragile as the
wing of a butterfly; an emotionally
rational college freshman, allowing you a direct access pass to the sloppy,
beautiful disaster I like to call my life.
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